Shalom! Well, this weekend will be a very busy one for not just me, but the team and speakers that Yah brought together to do a recovery weekend called The Good Samaritan. Due to all the business that has gone into the conference, this week’s Torah Portion page is skimpy!

There is a lot of meat in this Torah Portion! Spies, bad reports, negative thinking, perspective, Yah using a woman of ill repute, giants too!! Lots of action and much we can apply to our own journey through the wilderness of being a sojourner walking a different path!

Part B) Weekly Torah Portion: 37 SHLACH L'KHA - SEND ON YOUR BEHALF - NUMBERS 13:1-15:41 - YouTubeNumbers 13- What do you see… | BlogThruDaBible


Idolatry – Derech HaTorah

A different spirit, a different path, a different message…

boots on the ground gospel, providing a door of hope and a way out!


God Can Use Anyone” Joshua 2: ppt download


God Has Gone Before You - Joshua 2When Outsiders Become Insiders | Joshua 2:1-24 | OMC: Family Chapel

Matthew 10:1-14 GNB - Jesus called his twelve disciples - Biblics

On Life’s Terms – Shelach

“It is a land that consumes those who settle it”—Numbers 13:32.

Moses sends scouts to tour the Land of Israel and report back with the best strategy for conquering the Land. Instead of fulfilling their mission, the scouts return with a bleak report and insist that the nation remain in the desert.

There are two questions: a) Why did the scouts disparage the prospect of entering the Land that G‑d had promised them? b) The scouts were handpicked by Moses because of their high spiritual standing – “all of them men of distinction” (Numbers 13:3). How then could they have failed so dismally to carry out their charge?

The scouts were not afraid that they could not conquer the land. They were afraid of what their lives would be like after they didOn a simple level, we may answer that the scouts were afraid of battle. But this only answers our first question and not our second. G‑d had already promised them that they would easily conquer their enemies. If the scouts were spiritual men, they certainly had faith in G‑d’s promise to grant them victory.

A deeper explanation is given which answers both questions. The scouts were not afraid that they could not conquer the land. They were afraid of what their lives would be like after they did. Being spiritual people, they had a profound fear of becoming involved in the kind of worldly affairs that would arise in the course of settling the Land—agriculture, city-building, commerce, government, etc. In the desert, they had no work, no homes, no responsibilities. They were happy to be nomads, for such living left them free to inhabit what the kabbalists refer to as the “plane of thought and speech,” rather than “the plane of action.”

What these misguided spiritualists forgot, however, is that G‑d’s purpose for them was not in the modified reality of the desert, but in tackling the holy task of settling the Land and dealing with the world.

It seems we alcoholics may have a lot in common with these men. They say that we are more sensitive and idealistic than most people and, for that reason, have found great pain in confronting the realities of this world. Whether this is true or not would be hard to say. What we can say with a fair amount of certainty, however, is that no group has ever more clearly displayed an obsession for buffering themselves from reality. No bunch has more feared facing the rigors of mundane existence and “settling the Land.” We felt ourselves more at peace in “the planes of thought and speech” than that of action. Indeed, philosophizing and debating were more readily agreeable to us than tending to everyday affairs. We wanted to live in our own heads, not in the real world. Alcohol helped us do that and, in a strange way, some of us may have even thought it helped us get closer to G‑d.

We felt ourselves more at peace in “the planes of thought and speech” than that of actionBut, also like the scouts, we were tragically mistaken. G‑d desires that He be found in reality. Whether or not we are up to the task is irrelevant. It is not on our power that we rely, but on His. What we thought to be merely an admission of our own inability to handle unmodified existence, we later came to realize was actually a most brazen accusation against G‑d—that He could not help us to deal with reality nearly as well as alcohol could. Thus, we told G‑d in so many words that we did not trust Him to help us carry out our G‑d-given mission that awaited us in the daunting Promised Land of sober reality.

Recovery has helped us correct this grave error in our thinking. We do not fear the world quite as much today as we once did. We are ready to enter and settle the Land, to “live life on life’s terms” and – with G‑d’s ever abundant help and mercy – to face head on whatever may await us there.



Matthew 14:14 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. | New International Version (NIV) | Download The Bible App Now


Testimony time!



Pray Numbers 8 & 12 | Pray

Numbers 11:31 WEB - There went forth a wind from Yahweh, and brought

Be careful what you pray for AND what you wish for…

Murmuring and complaining…gets you nowhere with Yah but in trouble!

I remember in my active addiction more was never enough. It didn’t matter what the substance was. It was NEVER enough! I was so sick in the head that I use to yearn to have a large pile of cocaine put in front of me with the ability to snort as much up my nose as I wanted. That day came. I remember being in my fiance’s apartment, he placed a pile of top-quality “stuff” in front of me and told me to do as large a line as I wanted. Dream come true!!!!

I snorted a large amount of that white powder up my nose. Tasting the bitterness of the snow-white powder was part of the sick, sweet ritual of a cocaine addict. Feeling it course through your veins, numbing out everything was the chase factor.

The only thing I remember after partaking of my sick dream come true fantasy is being in the bathroom, and having difficulties. Do not ask me with what. I do not remember. To this very day, it’s a dark shadow, a part of a dark past. I lived to tell,  many have not been so blessed.

My fiance threw me out of his apartment. To this day I do not know how I arrived home safe, but I did. I do not remember anything from that night…I believe angels watched over me that night, leading me across the street home. Where I belonged.

In the rooms of 12-step recovery, there is a saying

One is too many, a Thousand is never enough! : r/SoberOne is too many... ...and a thousand never enough

It did not matter what it was…cocaine, alcohol, even heroin. After putting the cocaine addiction down, my alcoholic drinking was amped up…I was out of my mind, out of control. Then after I put that down, my cigarette addiction rocketed off the chart. Then once I conquered that one with a lot of help from Yah, my food addiction was out of control…

As I addressed the childhood sexual abuse, that’s when I returned to my “first love”.  I returned to overeating. I could not get enough of whatever it was. I needed comfort.

I was chasing that “ahhhh” factor. My memories of momma’s chocolate cream pie set up in me a craving rivaling a crack addict seeking another numbing hit on the pipe.  My mother would comment on my father’s overindulging when she made cookies, brownies, etc. She couldn’t understand why he would eat until he was sick. I did, I got it. Yep, same driving force.



I get it.

In this week’s Torah portion, we have a bunch of folks rescued from 400 years of slavery. 400 years of trauma. Generational trauma. Epigenetics at work. Craving comfort food, craving meat. Yearning for the familiar…seeking for their next hit of meat…

So, every Torah cycle, I am empathizing with those displaced slaves. Those trauma survivors. Cravings, yearnings to go back. To the familiar, to the well-known. Even though it is destructive and there is no freedom, it is still familiar. It is known. It is a comfort to know where your next meal is coming from, to know that you have your own bed to sleep in, and to know that it will be pretty much the same expectations for you the following day. No surprises, nope, same ol’ same ol’.

I have been in domestic abuse shelters for women, I have worked in residential facilities, and have also had experience with detox facilities. I have been in maximum security prisons. jails, and a host of other settings. I understand being removed from all that is familiar to you and having to rely on an invisible source.

I think of all the upheaval the C19 has brought into our lives. Inflation is out of control. The housing market collapsing.  People and families are being displaced out of the home they found comfort in. The homeless shelters are overflowing, The shelves are emptying of stock, and gas prices have soared through the roof.


Nothing is familiar.

Comfort ye comfort ye My people…the prophet Isaiah cried…

Ezekial had a fun job too…prophets got to have all the fun, telling the truth, warning folks about impending doom and gloom if they kept choosing to chase their own tails…wanting their own way, wanting what they want when they want it and the hell with everyone else…


The sheep are being separated. Just like Yah did in the wilderness in our Torah portion. As was prophesied in Ezekiel 34, He is separating His sheep from the sheep.

The question is…will we trust Him? Even when we don’t have 3 meals and snacks? Even when we may not know where we will lay our heads that night to rest, even if we are pressured to take the “solution” the world has?

Miketz Miketz Genesis 41:1 – 44:17 Haftarah: Zechariah 2:14 – 4:7 Gospel: Luke 4:16-30 Miketz = “At the end of” The 10th. - ppt download


🕊Kristia🕊 on Twitter: "Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts. ~Zechariah 4:6" / Twitter

Jesus Feeds 5000 - Matthew 14 | Sunday School Lesson & Bible Story for Children | - YouTube

Trust and obey! He doesn’t change, He isn’t a liar and He is the miracle worker!! His promises are sure!

Now, a word from Big Brother Judah on this week’s Torah portion!

How Things Worked Out—Behaalotecha

If any man of you, or of your future generations, shall be unclean . . . or be on a journey far off, he shall keep the Passover to G‑d on the fourteenth day of the second month . . . (Numbers 9:10–11)

On the date commemorating the Exodus from Egypt, it is a mitzvah to celebrate the holiday of Passover. When the Temple stood—may it be speedily rebuilt in our day—this celebration would entail bringing a special sacrifice on the day before Passover, the Paschal lamb. The Torah tells also of a “Second Passover” granted to a group of men unable to fulfill their obligation with the rest of the nation on the regularly appointed holiday. Because they were ritually impure, they were excluded from performing the sacrificial offering in honor of Passover. Aggrieved because of their missed opportunity to fulfill a commandment of G‑d, they approached Moses and asked that he somehow make an exception for them. G‑d spoke to Moses and told him to establish a makeup date, one month later, after they would have a chance to purify themselves. The “Second Passover” thus became a mitzvah, a commandment of the Torah, eternalized for all time.

Why didn’t G‑d just tell Moses about the “backup plan” when He told him about the regular Passover?But if the Second Passover was destined to become a commandment, why didn’t G‑d simply relate this commandment to Moses at the outset, as He did with all of the other commandments? Why didn’t G‑d just tell Moses about the “backup plan” when He told him about the regular Passover? Why did the people first have to ask for it?

The Second Passover represents the power of teshuvah (literally: “return”). By returning to G‑d, one has the power to retroactively transform past failings into veritable merits. For it is the penitent’s prior distance from G‑d that serves as the very springboard for his current heightened desire to cleave to Him. Ironically, had he not once been estranged from his G‑d, he would never have come to the kind of yearning for Him that he feels now. The darkest moments of his past, what were once his greatest liabilities, now become his greatest assets, the source of an intense motivation for re-found closeness with G‑d.

Such a condition, however—where past misdeeds become virtues—cannot be premeditated. G‑d’s rulebook could never prescribe failure to serve G‑d properly as a way to later become closer to Him. The opportunity to transform the past must come from the penitent himself. He must ask for it, and only then is it granted.

In recovery, we’ve found a new relationship with G‑d. We have an appreciation for His wisdom, love and guidance that we are quite sure could never have been possible had we not been forced to turn our lives over to Him as the only known treatment for a disease which is progressive, incurable and fatal. We did not become alcoholics in order that we could later discover G‑d in recovery. Nor is that something that we could ever have planned. It isn’t even something G‑d would have told us to do.

A certain chassid was once chided about the fact that the chassidim tend to make a big to-do about the Second Passover. “You celebrate a holiday established for impure people,” his detractors laughed. “No,” he answered, “not a holiday for impure people. A holiday for impure people who became pure.”

We could never have planned it. G‑d would never have advised it. But this is how things worked out.Some might think it odd when they hear an alcoholic in recovery say something like “Being an alcoholic is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.” Perhaps they think that recovery is meant only to make us more like normal people, to catch us up. But we do not have the dubious luxury enjoyed by “normal people” who decide how and when to let G‑d into their lives. Such is our fortune: that we must strive to join that happy lot for whom their very survival dictates that they give themselves entirely over to G‑d.

We could never have planned it. G‑d would never have advised it. But this is how things worked out. And this is what has made us closer to Him today.

NASSO TORAH : NUMBERS 4:21-7:89 | PROPHETS : JUDGES 13:2-25| GOSPEL : LUKE 1:11-20

Finding Messiah in Naso, Numbers 4:21-7:89

And, isn’t it all about finding our Messiah in all the Tanak, and the Gospels? This week’s Torah portion is not an easy one, there are so many twists and turns!!! Sometimes it just doesn’t make any sense, how on earth does one see Him in such a maze and haze? The woman’s jealous husband, the crazy ritual to prove her innocent…or guilty…and the outcome of going through this ritual. I am no bible scholar, I am learning right along with you….but I wanted to share with you some thoughts and some things I found while doing my rabbit hole dive…

Understanding the Sotah Ritual | My Jewish Learning

John 8 - what do you think our Messiah was writing in the sand regarding the woman caught in adultery? - Quora


What is the Aaronic Blessing? – Summer Setting

Maybe, just maybe, you, like me, have done some pretty bad things while living as an addictive addiction. When I got clean and sober, and the cloud began to lift, the shame and guilt was enormous! I was steered to Alcoholics Anonymous by Yours Truly, and it was there that I began my healing process. Putting the plug in the jug and the drugs down was only the first step. There were many other steps, one of which was facing those things…those things I had done while living as an addict. Those activities I found myself involved in while out of my mind, under the influence. Like adultrey. That was only one of the many sins I commited.

I can tell you this, teshuva is bitter sweet! Going through the process of being open and honest about all those sexual sins commited over the course of years, brought such freedom. Forgiving myself was very difficult, I must say. Going to Yeshua (Jesus at the time) and laying it all down, accepting His punishment was humbling.

As I attempt to dive deeper into His word, every Torah cycle I learn more. This year was an amazing revelation of how He drank the bitter cup that the adultrous wife in this weeks Torah portion drank.

When the woman was dragged before Him in John Isreal and He wrote in the sand of the temple, just like the dirt from the floor was mixed with water and herbs she had to drink.

He died so the adultrous woman was free to marry again…He rose a new Man in order for her to marry Him…again…

Freedom…this is where we find Him in this weeks Torah portion!

Isn’t that refreshing? Isn’t that amazing? He came and died for our sins…yes, but it is so much more! It goes so much deeper!

I hope this has been a blessing to you, please do your own digging, because I am still learning as you are!

He is able to cleanse us all from all our sins, with the blood of the Lamb shed on the stake, for me, and for you!


A word from our big brother Judah on this weeks Torah portion!

Reacting to Another’s Downfall – Naso

“A man or a woman who sets himself apart by making a nazirite vow to abstain for the sake of G‑d”—Numbers 6:2.

In the book of Numbers (chs. 5–6) we learn of the laws of the sotah (suspected adulteress) and the nazir (one who takes a vow which involves abstention from wine). While outwardly these two subjects share nothing in common, the fact that Scripture places them one after the other indicates an underlying correlation. The sages explained the connection between these two sections as follows: “Why is the section dealing with the suspected adulteress related just before the section dealing with one who takes a nazirite vow? To teach you that whoever observes such a woman in her disgrace should forswear wine.”

Witnessing another’s downfall says as much about the one who sees it as about the one actually going through itOn a simple level, one may interpret this teaching to mean that when one beholds someone who is in a state of spiritual ruin, the observer is reminded of the general frailty of human nature and should thus take precautions to prevent his own moral downfall. However, this interpretation raises a question. If observing someone else’s moral failure serves as a stark reminder of our own weaknesses, then why is there a need to also take on a specific vow? Just seeing another person in a state of disgrace should be a sufficiently forceful reminder that the observer must be watchful of his own conduct as well.

The Baal Shem Tov, the founder of the Chassidic movement, explained that one never “just happens” to observe something. Witnessing another person’s downfall says as much about the one who sees it as about the one actually going through it. Despite whatever wrong the other person may have done, the very fact that the observer is so keenly aware of the other’s sinful behavior is an indication of his own glaring defect—a readiness to see impropriety in his fellow. Thus, say the sages, the person who takes notice of the grave failings of others should forswear the drinking of wine. It was not by chance that he set eyes on his fellow in an unseemly position, but rather because of his own predisposition toward spotting such things.

It seems that the sages knew quite a bit about us alcoholics. Who has been as ready to find fault in others as we have been? Who has been as indignant toward the shortcomings of others? Recovery has taught us that whenever we see bad in someone else, our reaction must not be the self-righteous anger to which we had once felt entitled, but to assess our own spiritual condition.

There was a time when seeing how others were doing wrong made us feel more holy. In sobriety, we work toward the day when—in true holiness—we will see only goodness in all of our fellows.


34 B'midbar - In the desert - Numbers 1:1-4:20 — The Harvest


Torah Parsha Bamidbar

Hosea 2 (with text - press on more info.) - YouTube

Hosea 2:19-20 — Verse of the Day for 02/19/2020

Sometimes, life beats the crap out of us, like an abusive mean spirited man that just looks for anything to give him the ammo to put the fists to use against his betrothed. Some of us have lost hope of ever finding authentic love. A real man as many of us term it. I know that I have given up hope in that realm after so many tries that ended in horrible disaster and great damage to me, mind, body and spirit and pocketbook included.

Yeshua gives us hope, He came to die, to  free the Bride to marry her Bridegroom…He took the cup of bitter herbs…the one that the jealous husband ordered her to drink to prove herself…He Himself took that cup, and drank it…to the death…for our freedom…to free the adultrous, guilty wife…so she can be betrothed…to the new Adam. (give me some grace, this is my understanding at the time of this writing, pray for me, if my theology is mess up!)

We are approaching Shavuot and His spirit will be poured out in power. As we see the horses of Revelation  running, the seals being broken, we need an outpouring of His spirit like never before…in our frail humaness, we are incapable of running the race til the end. I know I do not have that kind of energy at 62! Even when I was young, there is no way in the frail humanness that anyone could run this race to the finish.

Matthew 4:1 NIV Illustrated: "Led" — Heartlight® Gallery

Big Brother Judah’s words of wisdom from the Torah regarding this Torah Portion:

“Bring the Tribe of Levi near and present them before Aaron the Priest that they may serve him”—Numbers 3:6.

This week’s portion, the first in the Book of Numbers, describes the appointment of the Levite tribe as assistants to Aaron the High Priest and his descendents.

There is a tradition that the verse (Psalms 92:13), “A righteous person will give fruit like a date-palm; he will grow tall like a cedar in Lebanon,” alludes to the role of the Levites as attendants to the priests.

A righteous individual may be compared to one of two kinds of trees—the date palm or the cedar. The date palm, as the verse attests, “gives fruit.” It does not, however, grow so tall. The cedar, on the other hand, “grows tall” but does not give fruit.

A righteous individual may be compared to one of two kinds of trees—the date palm or the cedarA righteous person who resembles a cedar is one whose attention to his spiritual growth lifts him to great heights. Yet, because he is primarily focused on his own improvement, he does not “give fruit.” His spiritual accomplishments are impressive but do not translate into a direct benefit for others.

The second type of righteous person is like the date palm. This is the person who takes time that otherwise could have been spent on his own development and uses it to attend his fellow. Having diverted his attention from his personal growth, he does not grow as tall, but he – like the date palm which bears delicious and nourishing fruit – provides life, energy and sustenance to others.

The character of the Levites whose task it was to assist others is like that of the date palm. Rather than concentrating solely on their own spiritual attainments, they were entrusted with the holy mission of being of service to those who performed the holy rites in the Temple. Instead of focusing exclusively on their own spiritual attainments, they made themselves of use to others.

For us alcoholics, this is the spiritual path that grants us day-by-day assurance of our sobriety. Sometimes an alcoholic may think that he might accomplish more by spending less time and energy working with others and concentrating instead on more “lofty” affairs such as prayer and meditation. It sounds nice in theory, but in practice we find that the Twelfth Step’s call for service – that we “carry this message to other alcoholics” – is not just a way of paying back to the program, it is crucial to our own sobriety.

We don’t need to be High Priests performing the holy rites in the Temple. We are grateful to act as the Levites, endowed with the sacred privilege of attending to and serving others—always giving fruit, even at the expense of not growing quite as tall.